The House Republicans, lead by project chairman Representative Kevin McCarthy of California, have created a website to find the common voice of the common man and take ideas from all Americans. America Speaking Out is the result of this effort. Sounds good on paper, but as usual you can count on the internet community to add just a little fun and spice to make things even better. Here are just some of the funnier posts that can be found after wading through the “legalize pot”, “shut the borders”, and “this site sucks” posts. Enjoy!
When we deport illegal aliens we should get rid of the street mimes as well. Also.
Create a website that can handle more than 2 Americans speaking out at the same time without crashing. Come on. Do it.
Release Starcraft 2 immediately.
We should buy Mexico. No more illegal immigrants, AND more beaches for us!
Thousands of people are attacked by sea creatures every year. We at BP are dedicated to bringing that number down. You’re welcome!
Make iPhones available through Verizon! AT&T has fairly poor service and coverage, and a lot of Americans would love to own an iPhone but would not sign up with AT&T.
Breed giant scorpions which feed specifically on human flesh and release them along the border states (especially Arizona). The benefits will outweigh the occasional American casualty.
Use british spellings. Honour, Colour, ect.
Make all my wives legal, like it is in the bible.
I’m tired of "USA" being at the end of the list of countries. We should change the name to "America, United States of" so we can be "AUS" and be at the top of the list where we belong.
lets get rid of the lib bicycle lanes and create donkey lanes so we can ride to work as the LORD intended us to
America obviously needs force users to protect us, we need Sith because we don’t want those freedom hating liberal Jedi in our country!
Bring in Jack Bauer
Have you ever noticed how many different kinds of rice there are? White rice, brown rice, minute rice, wild rice, arborio rice, long-grain rice, the list goes on and on! I notice this often, while relaxing in my tub full of rice.
America should have donkeys painted like zebras like they do in Tijuana. It would help keep tourist dollars in America
People should get tax credits for getting termite inspections and extermination work done. This would help our infrastructure be sound and defeat the menace of termites.
OK, so maybe we shouldn’t let gay men marry, but lesbians can be hot when they make out in bars, and they usually have good taste in punk bands, and girls with short hair are cute, so can we maybe just let lesbians marry? That seems like a fair compromise.
"When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I’m just like, ‘Oh shut up’ I’m so sick of them because they’re always complaining." -Glenn Beck
We need to raise the level of civility in public discourse. We used to respect people who stood up for what they believe in. Now I can’t even publicly say that "I’m proud to be a teabagger" or that "I’m going to teabag my Congressman if he doesn’t vote to repeal Obamacare" without people laughing and snickering.
Invent a machine that takes carrots and celery, and makes money out of them. That would be a good idea.
Mandatory "Straight White Male" testing, performed annually, to determine eligibility to vote.
Hey. I have a question. So if the flash-sideways scenes were purgatory then what happened with all the sci-fi stuff on the island? Like the smoke monster and the pool that healed everyone. If the island was real but the real world wasn’t doesn’t that just kind of make no sense? Also, where’s Obama’s birth certificate?
Earthworms could be trained to protect the border by using their sense of smell to detect explosives, drugs and illegal immigrants
OUTLAW ALL SHELLFISH: In the Bible, it clearly states the eating of shellfish is an affront to God. All lobster, crab and other such food should be make ILLEGAL immediately.
Lizard People should have the same rights as everyone else. Discuss.
Just out of curiosity, what would it take to get Arby’s designated the official roast beef of the RNC?
Magnets…HOW DO THEY WORK? Liberal government conspiracy or just magic?
Sometimes when I get to the bottom of the yogurt cup, the shape makes it harder to get the last bites. I tried using both a spoon and a fork, with some luck. I think Yoplait should redesign their package so it’s easier to get to the bottom of the yogurt.
We need a law that forces bread with peanut butter to land on the floor PEANUT BUTTER up!
Judges and cops should hand out ice cream bars on the second Thursday of every month. this would make kids not hate them as much.
Block Mac users from this site. Mac people are mostly socialists.
The big businesses in this country are out of control. BestBuy is not going to get me super mario galaxy 2 for an ENTIRE WEEK even though I pre-ordered it! What happened to customer service, and why is our Mail Service SO SLOW, you’d think all that money we pay in postage now would go to something…
Abolish the Senate in it’s current form. institute a series of Thunderdome-style battles to determine which of the current 100 will move into the streamlined, more efficient 25 member Senate. If your state’s Senators do not survive the Thunderdome protion of this event, then your state loses it’s representation. Only the strong survive.
How are we supposed to tell the difference between a legitimate idea submitted by a Teabagger and a fake idea submitted by a liberal mocking a Teabagger?
We should send illegal aliens back to whatever planet they came from. I can’t see why anybody would want to make them legal anyways. Floating around in their pie-eyed, doomsday machines like they own the place. Enough is enough!
Government scientists should stop wasting their time on inconsequential issues and look into cloning dinos so that we can ride them to work just like our ancestors did.
We need to supply our armed forces with magic underwear. Why has the existence of magic underwear not extend to our brave fighting men and women. Do they not deserve the best protection that Congress can afford?
Robots aren’t yet people, but someday they will be. We must plan ahead and grant robots full voting rights, as well as the ability to seek the presidency. We must also make sure they get whatever demand, because a new form of life should be welcomed into the world. Further, they must be allowed to serve in the military. In fact, they should be in charge of the military. WE MUST DRAFT A ROBOT RIGHTS ACT before we need one!
Can we get a government that is more awesome? Like with dirt bikes and fighter planes and PEW! PEW! ZOOM! Zomg, I think I’m on the TV.
We should have plundered the Gulf of all resources 20 years ago. That way my parents would have had to have cleaned up all the spilled oil and I could focus on more important endeavors… like Call of Duty or Taco Bell.
Force the Grand Ole Opry to reinstate Hank Williams, Sr.
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US
The Republican Party needs more cowbell.
Just because i don’t have any ideas doesnt mean that you shouldent listen to my ideas!!!!!!!!!!!
Reinvade Germany before they strike again.
I want a pony.
Mess with Texas.
We need to hunt whales that enter American waters illegally.
Get out of my country . Sorry, I’m coming down with a cough. Thanks, -Squanto P.S. Thanks for the blankets
I like eating hamburgers, but they’re bad for my cholesterol. Please make hamburgers that taste the same, but which have low cholesterol and calories. Also make the hamburgers make me taller and handsome. And make the hamburger make a girl go out with me.
We should build a giant magnet to pull all the continents together so that we wouldn’t need ships to invade other countries. It would be like Pangea, but we could give it a better name like Reagangea.
Let’s blame everything on Clinton! Except the things that are Carter’s fault.
Upon release of Albert Bartholomew Einstein’s theory of relativity, the aliens realized how much potential the Human race had. Although still miles away from the technological prowess of the alien race; given the time it would take for the aliens to reach and take action upon the earth, the Humans were now considered formidable. In a drastic act, the aliens prematurely sent an experimental pod (which my researchers speculate must have cost 3 billion quintlefallions [alien dollars]) to Earth. Using this pod the aliens successfully carried out their mission to replace Albert Bartholomew Einstein with a fake, robotic Albert Bartholomew Einstein. To explain in detail the entirety of the alien’s plan here would be to get off topic (as we are trying to discuss marriage in colonial America) and would take hundreds of pages. Needless to say, havoc was wreaked by the fake Albert Bartholomew Einstein. For obvious reasons the marriage process was drastically altered at that point. American culture began to frown upon cannibalism and the concept of male dominance began to prevail.
The badges on this stupid site make me think of Pogs, and that makes me mad.
1) outlaw the KFC Doubledown and Famous Bowl in the US. 2) send any that have already been made to third world countries. 3) Sell blood pressure and cholesterol medication to the third world countries. 4) PROFIT.
Outlaw Spaghetti-Os!!! God wanted spaghetti to be straight!!!
Gov’t must outlaw french fries! They are FREEDOM FRIES! Get it right. Ain’t nothing more American than fries
CLOTHES OF MIXED FIBER ARE AN AFFRONT TO GOD THOSE WHO WEAR THEM SHALL BE CAST OUT AND LEFT TO DIE Leviticus 19:19 Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woolen come upon thee.
Pass a law requiring Michelle Malkin to actually research the topics she writes about. If she refuses, she is to be subjected to internment in a fabulous apartment in the g ayest district of San Francisco
Rename Rhode Island and call it Reagan Island! No one knows who the heck Rhode is. But Ronald Reagan is the greatest American since George Washington and deserves a state to be named after him.
Congress should pass a law against playa hatin’.
The Mythbusters Team should be put in charge of the space program
Send everyone suspected of terrorism to live with random families that live in Bel-Air. Anecdotal evidence has proven that this method will reform even the most outlandish behavior.
We should honor Gary Coleman by issuing a $7 bill in his likeness.
Since the conception of the MMORPG, World of Warcraft [WoW] has constantly set itself apart. Starting as a computer RPG it has morphed true to its name into a world all its own. Here are a few facts to acquaint you with the growing extent of that world.
Subscriber Percentage by Continent:
Asia 48%
North America 22%
Europe 17%
Other 13%
World of Warcraft has 11.5 million subscribers worldwide.
If you only took the players in North America and Europe, they alone produced 800 million per year in revenue. Larger than the GDP of Samoa (537 million). This is not including the other 5.5 million subscribers in Asia who often pay by the hour.
The most popular race are Humans at 19% of all characters.
One of five World of Warcraft subscribers are female.
The average American subscriber spends 22.7 hours a week on WoW, whereas the average American spends 35 hours at work and almost 40 hours watching TV.
Players complete 16.6 million quests a day. They participate in 3.5 million auctions a day.
The 11.5 million players also include celebrities like Dave Chappell, Mila Kunis, McCauley Culkin, Jenna Jameson, Cameron Diaz, Elijah Wood, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Simpson, and Mr. T.
To put 11.5 million players into perspective, that’s more than the population of Cuba or the City of New York.
It only took a mere 150 developers to create 30,000 items, 1,400 locations, 7,600 quests, and 5,300 NPCs.
The server side of World of Warcraft consists of 20,000 computers, 1.3 petabytes of storage, 75,000 CPU cores, 5.5 million lines of code, and 2 million words of text. This adds up to $136,986 of upkeep costs per day. The same as Purchasing a brand new Audi R8 every day.
This is a wonderful take on the traditional story of Little Red Riding Hood from an engineers perspective. The cutaway of the VW Bus is the best part. Either that or the nutritional summary of Grandma.
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